Do you ever feel like you’re in this state of paralysis where you think you’re not good enough and you’re scared of people finding out and you’re afraid you might get exposed as a fraud, a liar, or an impostor? You’re not alone, and there’s a word for it. It’s called impostor syndrome.
And if you’re feeling this way, I totally get you. It’s super uncomfortable, and it’s stressful, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You can actually use it to your advantage. How? Keep on reading 🙂
So let’s talk about impostor syndrome!
Watch the video or read below
What is impostor syndrome?
So it’s not a real syndrome. Impostor syndrome is more like a mental block or a state of paralysis (or at least it is to me), where I doubt my skills, my expertise, and myself. It shows up as a lack of self-confidence, feelings of being inadequate, comparing myself to others, and a shit ton of negative self-talk. It usually shows up in the work setting or if you’re like me and you’re on an entrepreneurial journey, it shows up maybe like 2 or 3 times… an hour.
It tends to affect people who are perfectionists.
For me, I feel it the most at every big step I take in my business. I felt it when I started, Piña Social Media, a social media management business. I felt it when I launched my first online course. And even when I first started this blog. I felt like a poser calling myself a blogger. And I still felt like I was a poser one year into blogging because I was comparing my successes to other peoples’ successes. And I thought it wasn’t enough.
While it sucks, it’s actually a good thing
What’s important to know about it is that as uncomfortable as it feels, impostor syndrome is just another mental hurdle. But it can also disguise itself as self-sabotage because you can talk yourself out of doing something you really want to do.
But, you can use impostor syndrome as a signal that you’re actually headed in the right direction. And you wouldn’t be feeling this way if you weren’t pushing against your boundaries and pushing the limits of what’s comfortable for you.
So when I started Piña Social Media, I knew I wanted to help small businesses grow through social media while working remotely so I started a social media management business. Getting started was easy for me- creating a brand, building a website- it was all things I had done before. What really scared me was finding clients and booking them. I had never done that before. So in the middle of messaging hundreds of business owners, hopping on phone calls, walking into meetings, and writing proposals, I was riddled with impostor syndrome. It was blaring at me like:
“Look at you parading as a social media manager. People are going to find out you’re not a real one. You don’t have the background, you don’t have the education, and you don’t have the clients to show up for it.”
I hated that voice but I couldn’t let it stop me. I really wanted to work remotely. I was so deeply in love with my boyfriend at the time that I wanted to move into a new country and live with him. More of this adorable story here.
How to use impostor syndrome to your advantage
So instead of letting it take over me, I turned it around and thought, “How can I make this work for me instead of against me?” And then that’s when I realized that having impostor syndrome meant I was on the right path. And I can find comfort in being uncomfortable because I know what I’m doing is right. All I have to do is show up and everything will fall into place. And I’m a true believer of trusting the process but it will only work with me if I step outside of my comfort zone.
How impostor syndrome showed up for me
So for 6 weeks, I lived outside of it and reached out to potential clients every day. I barely slept. I got sick. And within 4 weeks, I booked my first client. Within 5 weeks, I got 2 job offers ( but declined them because they didn’t allow me to work remotely). In 6 weeks, I spoke at a business conference about the importance of social media in front of 100+ entrepreneurs. In 8 weeks, I booked my second client. And in 10 weeks, I booked my third client. That allowed me to move in with my boyfriend, who’s now my husband, and it made me really happy. I really felt like I was living my dream life. And I wouldn’t have accomplished all that if I let my impostor syndrome take over and sabotage me.
So that’s one of my many experiences with impostor syndrome. Did it ever get better for me? No. It actually got worse each time I grew. Most especially when I spoke at that conference because I thought, “OMG, 100 people are going to find out I don’t know shit about social media.” So no, it didn’t get better and that’s because I was constantly out of my comfort zone and impostor syndrome only shows up when you’re outside.
But there were a few things I did that helped me manage my impostor syndrome, overcome it, and keep it to a minimum until the next time I took another big step.
How to overcome impostor syndrome
Take a breather (especially if you feel like you don’t deserve it!)
Impostor syndrome is stressful because you feel like someone is going to find out you’re not the real deal even though you are. I feel like people who get impostor syndrome are always like, “I have to do this, I have to do that then I will be enough and I won’t be a fraud.” Even if they complete these things, they’re going to find more things they have to do until they feel like they’re good enough. So to them, they will never be good enough.
If this is you, take a breather. Do anything to make your brain go quiet. What I like to do is take a walk and listen to the wind whistling through the trees but lately, it’s been getting cold so I’ll bring out the candles and take a nice, long bath. Another thing I’ll do is stretch my body and meditate. Basically, anything to minimize the chatter in my brain and make it quiet.
Write down your accomplishments every night
Another thing people with impostor syndrome have in common is that they don’t acknowledge what they’ve achieved so far. So it’s hard for them to justify that they are adequate for the job because they don’t take note of their successes.
So after you relax, take out your journal, a pen & paper, or your notes app. And don’t just write down things you crossed out from your to-do list. Write down what you’re actually proud of yourself for. If you take 10 minutes to do this every night, you’ll feel a lot more grounded and a waaay less anxious. Because as you look at your list, you’ll realize how much you did get done and no fraud would get out of their way to do what you just accomplished.
So start with the journal prompt, “I’m proud of myself for…” and write every single thing, big and small, that you’re proud of accomplishing that day.
Positively affirm yourself all day & everyday
Impostor syndrome is like a never-ending cycle of negative affirmations and the more you think of it, the more you’ll believe it. And from a scientific point of view, it’s true. It’s called neuroplasticity where your brain forms new connections based on the way you think. So if you usually think negative thoughts, you can actually turn that around by affirming yourself positively and continuously doing that. And the more you do it, the more you’ll believe it because you’ve rewired your brain with this new connection that now thinks your positive thinking is your default.
Here’s a little graphic I made as an example of how I turn my negative thoughts to positive ones.
You can screenshot this and save it for later. I’ll also post it on my Instagram account so you can save it there too.
I like to affirm myself with notes and post-its. I’m a visual person so I process things a lot better if I see it with my eyes. I’ll have these affirmations next to my computer. On my mirror when I get ready. In my office so that every time I enter, I’ll read it, and I’m like, “Yeah! I got this!”
Be in action
Stop thinking and be in action. I find that once I do all the previous steps, doing the work is actually much easier. I connect back to my WHY and I don’t get crippled by this anxiety because I’m not carrying this heavy weight of negativity on my shoulders. And I actually get back to enjoying something that I truly love doing.
Repeat
Make it a habit to do this every day and you’ll find that you’ll feel less and less like a fraud until the next moment to step out of your comfort zone. In which case, you’ll be doing these things all over again too. That’s how it worked for me.
How to make impostor syndrome go away (once and for all)
So you might be wondering, will this feeling ever go away? The good news is yes! …But I don’t think you want it to. At least if you want to keep growing as a person, I don’t think you’ll want it to stop. Think neuroplasticity again. As you keep expanding beyond your limits, your brain will find it as your default, and you’re going to find it uncomfortable in being comfortable.
Conclusion
And that’s how to deal with impostor syndrome. Remember that you’re not alone. A lot of female entrepreneurs and many creatives go through this. And as uncomfortable as it is, it’s a good thing to have. Just continue to show up and celebrate each accomplishment along the way.
Thank you so much for reading this post. I hoped you learned something new about impostor syndrome.
