Welcome back to my blog, fineapples! 🎥 It’s been a while since I’ve shared a video. While I’ve been away, I’ve really missed connecting with you through my content. If you’ve been wondering what’s been going on, I open up about the unexpected twists while I was away. From moments of uncertainty to newfound clarity, it’s been a transformative experience leading me to a place of starting over. Here’s to a new chapter filled with love, wonder, and curiousity.
Watch my video below or scroll down if you prefer to read:
It’s the beginning of the year, and I find myself ready to turn the page to a new chapter after living last year, somewhat… unaligned.
I chose to pursue a “normal” life when I moved back home after living between countries and freelancing the last few years. So when my friend told me there was an opening at her work, I thought it was an opportunity to gain a different level of stability & structure. That and- I was also curious about how much a corporate work lifestyle would fit me. Albeit to a certain point, I did enjoy the work. It challenged and shaped me. But it it wasn’t a long-term fit and the work wasn’t my passion. And if there’s anything I know about myself, I’m driven by it. But I pushed myself to continue to finish a project I started.
And in the midst of this stint, my home got hit by a major typhoon. Our house flooded, and we lost power and water for weeks – which did suck for obvious reasons but oddly, without these necessities, I felt like life was simpler and, to be honest, even more joyful to experience. I preferred all the dark nights at home, cooking dinner, dining with my husband on the patio, talking about whatever we felt like rather than dining with the TV on, and missing out on the conversations we could’ve had. It was then that I realized I had been filling a hole. I didn’t need to watch as much, shop as much, eat out as much, or travel as much to enjoy myself. There’s nothing bad about these things. But I just knew I was content with this life and didn’t mind if power and water weren’t restored until much later.
And then, I looked at Vivek and was reminded how I was lucky to find a protector, provider and best friend in one person. He stepped up, kept me calm when water poured in, collected rain water, tidied up the house, and manually washed our laundry while I was at work. And I knew that whatever chaotic situation we’d find ourselves in, we’d be okay. Then, I finally I acknowledged a calling that had been lying dormant. I wanted to have his child. I wanted to be a mother.
When I looked back on the skills I built my entire life, I couldn’t help but recognize a common thread between my passions. Yes, I still relish in travel and blogging. But I think the essence of who I am resonates most deeply with the nurturing spirit of being a mom. I find joy in simple acts of cooking, baking, crafting, teaching, and tending to a home. They nourish both my creativity and my soul. It’s where I get reconnect with myself and rediscover being content in what others might call a “boring life.” Maybe- these are the actual threads that weave the fabric of my very soul. And perhaps, I’ll find my greatest fulfillment in the act of creation itself and give birth to a new life.
So even when I left my job, I felt lucky to have had a job that made saying goodbye hard. My coworkers- who made each day worthwhile, my boss- who pushed me to grow and learn, my best friend- who was the cherry on top of coming to work each day, and a completed project that I hope will help many people. I’m grateful for this experience, and I’m ready to turn to the next chapter, however that looks like.
As I turn this page, I hope to discover my truest, most authentic self. Who am I outside of my career, my relationships, my health, and my finances? I don’t have an answer, but I can start by listening to my gut and doing what it tells me to do. I want to embrace my inner child, and live with love, wonder, and curiosity.
So here’s to the next chapter, to exploring all the things I’ve always wanted to do, and to spending less time in the digital world, for that’s where my true adventure begins, waiting to unfold.
I cannot wait 🙂